The Real Issue

S: So Denver and I were discussing the upcoming election.

D: Yeah, and don't even get me started about a dog's right to vote. It doesn't take opposable thumbs to operate those voting machines and my brain is much bigger than some people's.

S: Anyway, we are concerned about the lack of coverage on what we see as the primary issue here. Who will be the next White House Dog? Or for that matter, will there be one at all?

D: Well, in doing our research, we have uncovered some disturbing possibilities. Can we really trust these candidates? A poll by AKC indicates that John McCain wasn't really sure how many pets he had. Hm, are we seeing a trend here?

S: Actually the poll indicated that he has 24 pets, including four dogs. I wonder if everyone will join him on the White House lawn for the annual Egg Roll.

D: This dog is obviously so confused by the election that his head is stuck in that position.

S: Maybe it's a good thing dogs can't vote.

D: As reported on the Daily Chew blog, one definite (and positive) result of the election will be a new dog for the Obama clam. What kind of man deprives his little girls of a puppy?

S: Or, maybe he's being responsible. He didn't want to disrupt a dog's life while they were on the campaign trail.

D: Well, if he wins, you can bet dogs will be campaigning to get that beloved spot on the couch in the Oval Office.

S: There's even a website devoted to voting for the next breed of First Dog.

D: Funny, I didn't see mixed breed on that list at all. Anyone else offended? I mean, Obama of all people should appreciate a little variety in his dog!

S: Actually past presidents seem to tend toward purebred dogs. Seems a little elitist to me.

D: The most famous White House Dog is probably Liberty who served alongside Gerald Ford in the 70s. I will admit she's awfully pretty.

S: You're just saying that because she bears a remarkable resemblance to you.

D: Looks like Ford had good taste.

S: The current First Dog, Barney, made himself right at home in the Oval Office too.

D: Yeah, notice the array of rawhides littering the floor. Messy dog.

S: Now it does appear that Lyndon Johnson had a soft spot for mutts. Yuki was rescued from a gas station by Johnson's daughter Luci.

D: Apparently the two had a road show.

S: Hey, that kind of looks like Maizy. Wonder if she comes from presidential blood...

D: Well, guess we'll have to wait until November to find out if 24 pets or 0 pets will be moving into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Wouldn't it be cool to have a tag that just said, "Return to White House"?

S: If Obama wins, it will be interesting to see if he takes the recommendation of the people, or does the right thing and goes to the pound.

D: I give him exactly one month to fulfill his promise to those little girls. Then he starts getting nasty letters.